Shades of Grey
by Mo-Mantai
Summary: Tai wants Matt, Matt wants Tai, but neither guy knows how the other feels. It isn't until some misunderstandings arise that a lifelong friendship turns to love.
1. Shades of Grey

# 

**Shades of Grey**

**Author's Note:** Thanks to my good friend Ashley, who over the past week has hooked me in, I have written the very first part to my very first Taito. Please don't be too hard on me, but I'd like reviews with comments and seggestions please!  
  
**~Matt~**  
Have you ever felt alone? I mean, really alone? It's like you're invisible to the world to the world. No, wait, it's like you're the only person living on the planet at all. When society as a whole pushes you aside and marks you as a poison for the rest of humanity, it's not a very nice feeling. Everything that you've worked for, everything that you've accomplished, everything that you are is meaningless because you are different from the norm.  
Metaphorically speaking, it's like an artist, a painter let's say, who spends his life creating wonderful works of art. The colors are vibrant and rich, the detailing, perfect. It is a masterpiece and everyone who lays eyes on it knows it. Now, visualize that same painting, stripped of all its glory. The color, dull and the detail, diminished.  
That is where I am now. Wandering around this messed up world, examining my life and the decisions that I have made. The decision, that led me to the state of which I am now. I dwell deep within the shades of grey.  
Has it always been this way? Of course not. Up until a few days ago I was still the same old matt, but now everything has changed. Let's say we start from the beginning. That way you'll better understand. I'm taking you back; three days prior to this one, where life was just like any other day. Well, it was a normal day for everyone else at least. Me? I was struggling. Trying to make a decision that would change my life.  
  
**~Tai~**  
"Hiya Tai! Hello Matt!" Kari greeted us as we walked in the front door of my apartment. "How was school today?"  
"School was school" I shrugged.  
"Did you hear anything more about the Valentine's Day dance?" she asked. Out of the corner of my eye I watched a Matt cringed.  
"No, nothing yet." I told her  
"No dates yet?" she asked slyly.  
"Nope not yet!" Matt suddenly broke in. "C'mon Tai, let's get this stuff over with." he said as he yanked me toward my room.  
"You seemed rather apprehensive out there Matt. What's up?" I asked him when we were behind closed doors.  
"Nothing, I'm just a little upset about this whole dance thing." he told me.  
"Are you afraid that you're not going to get a date or something?" I asked.  
  
**~Matt~**  
"That's part of it." I whispered under my breath. "I just don't care for Valentine's Day very much." I said, louder so that Tai could hear.  
"A hunk like you doesn't like Valentine's Day?" he looked surprised.  
"Look, could you please not call me a hunk? If you want help getting these boxes to your car we'd better go now. I have a rehearsal to get to, remember?" I snapped.  
"Whoa, sorry Casanova. I don't want to make you late for your fifth rehearsal this week." he retorted.  
"Look Tai, this gig is very important. You never know when a record producer is going to show up out of nowhere. Every one of them counts!" I explained.  
"A record producer is going to show up at a community dance? You're head's stuck way up in those clouds Matt. Get real!" he shouted.  
"What do you want from me Tai?" I shouted back.  
"I just want my best friend back!" he told me, before storming out of the room with a stack of boxes.  
"I want you too." I told his empty room, before I followed him out to his car.  
  
**~Tai~**  
"If you have to get going, I can finish up with the last couple of loads." I told Matt. He had been glancing at his watch again.  
"There's not that many left. I have time to finish." he told me.  
"No, I insist. Get as much practice time in as possible. You need it!" I spat.  
"Fine!" he yelled. I could see the smoke coming out of his ears. I should have probably omitted that last comment, but he makes me mad. He's known me for much longer then he's been with the stupid band and lately I've been playing second fiddle. I know that his music is important to him. I just wish that he would get his priorities straight.  
"I won't need your help decorating either. I'll get Sora to help instead." I called after him.  
"That's a good idea, because you'd be waiting a hell of a long time for me to show up. Who knows how long I'll need to rehearse." he called back, before ducking into his car and speeding out onto the street.  
  
**~Matt~**  
"How can he possibly think that I've replaced him with my band?" I sobbed. "Doesn't he know how much he means to me?"  
"No, because you haven't told me." Great! now I'm hallucinating! Well, it's better company then being by myself. I turned to the figment of Tai sitting in my passenger seat.  
"I haven't told you because you are the last person that I would tell!" I countered.  
"Well, then I guess I'll never know." he replied.  
"My brother doesn't even know. Nobody knows!" I reasoned.  
"It's not the end of the world Matt. So what? You're gay. You can't change the way you are, or how you feel. he countered.  
"I feel so alone." I started to cry again.  
"You can fix that problem. You're the one who wants to keep this to yourself." he reminded me.  
"Great! I can't even win an argument with an imaginary person! Even my own sub conscious is against me. How am I ever going to get through this?"  
  
**~Tai~**  
I spent the most of the evening at the community center with Sora. I had called her to help me decorate for the dance, just like I had told Matt I would. I knew that I had plenty of friends who would come and help me if I called, but I still sort of wished that Matt had shown up.  
"Are you ready for Valentine's Day?" Sora asked me as we were hanging the welcome banner over the door.  
"Are you kidding. I think I want to spend the whole day in bed." I told her.  
"But how can you tell Matt how you feel about him if you're... oh" she blushed.  
My eyes widened and I almost fell off the ladder when I realized what she was thinking.. "It's not what you're thinking at all!" I defended myself. "I'm going to stay in bed to get away from Matt."  
"But you've been telling me that this would be the day for months now. How can you just back out of it like that?" Sora made her way down the ladder and made her way over to where I was admiring the work.  
"I know, but I just can't!" I told her.  
"Why?" she persisted.  
"Because, what if he doesn't feel the same way? I mean, I value our friendship more than anything in the world and I'd die if after I told him he'd run from me." Sora has known about my sexual preferences for a while now. She's the only one that knows. Besides Matt, she's my best friend and I trust her with everything.  
"Tai, Matt's not like that." she reasoned. "Besides, your friendship has to be stronger than that. There's no way that Matt would end a life long friendship just because you told him you were gay."  
"I'm not so sure of that"  
"Why would you think such a thing?"  
"We had a huge fight tonight. We've been fighting a lot lately and that doesn't make the situation any easier." Sora stayed quiet after that and pulled me into a warm hug. I knew that it was up to me to end this suffering and that's why I'm on my way to Matt's locker.  
  
**~Matt~**  
I hadn't been able to concentrate on the music at all last night, so rather then chopping the songs to pieces more than I already had, the band and I decided to call it quits for the night. I went for a long walk in the park after that and I came to a final decision. I am going to tell Tai as soon as I see him.  
"Hey Matt" I got weak in the knees at the sound of Tai's voice. He must have been coming from the other direction. I hadn't counted on him sneaking up on me like that.  
"Hi Tai" I said nervously.  
"Look Matt, there's something I have to tell you..."  
"I have something to tell you too." I admitted. A long silence followed. I needed a way out.  
"Hi guys!" It was Mimi. THANK GOD! I'll have to tell him at the dance tomorrow night.  
  
**~Tai~**  
I was extremely relieved when Mimi had shown up. I knew that I wouldn't be able to tell him, but if she hadn't shown up when she did, I might have had to lie and that's not a good way to begin this confession. "Hi Mimi!"  
"Are you guys set for the dance tomorrow night?" she asked innocently.  
"Not yet." I admitted. "There still something I have to do."  
  
**End of Part 1  
~MPF  
  
End Note:** Why was Kari interested in the dance? Will Tai and Matt ever confess their feelings at the dance? Where are the other Digidestined? When will I stop asking dumb questions? Find out in Chapter 2! 


	2. Shades of Grey: Chapter 2

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**Shades of Grey: Part 2**

Author's Note: Here you have it loyal Taito fans. This is the second chapter to Shades of Grey. This will put you all at ease, for now... *laughs evily* This is dedicated to my partner in crime, Ashley. You're right Ash, corruption doesn't always have to be a bad thing!  
  
** ~Matt~**  
Okay, so let's recap. I started you off with this strange metaphor talking about the loss of all of the color in my life and of how depressed I was. Sure, it was really just an attempt to grab your attention and keep you listening, but you have to understand what I'm going through. I mean, c'mon, I've spent part of the last few days talking to an apparition of Tai that I think is really my subconscious, but considering the state I'm in right now, I'm in no position to conjure up an ounce of ration thought. Well, at least with you here I have somebody to talk to. Hell, I'm not even sure if I am talking to anybody right now. I'm so confused...  
Anyway, enough talking about the past the past for now. Let's talk about the present. You know that bad decision that I was talking about? Well, I made it and now I'm about to make another, I think.  
Where am I? In my room, lying on my bed and now I have another decision to make. If I do it, what method should I use? There are so many options when it comes to suicide that it's not as easy to choose one as you may think it is. I know where dad hides the gun. I have access to a surplus of pills in the medicine cabinet and my Swiss Army knife is sitting idle in my pocket. I just can't decide. There are too many decisions to make!  
I have another question for you though. What led me to this pitiful moment? Well, why don't we take a second trip into the past and you can see for yourself?   
  
**~Tai~**  
"What's that?" Mimi asked. I had told her that I still had something to do in order to get ready for the dance.  
"Um..." The real answer is that I have to confess my love to my best friend, but there was no way that I was going to let Mimi "gossip queen" Tachikawa in on that little tidbit of information. Otherwise, I'll have the whole school confessing my love for Matt. "I have to.... do my hair!" I said quickly.  
"You what?" Mimi giggled  
Nice save superstar! "I mean, Kari! She asked me if I would help her do her hair. It's her first high school dance and she wanted a custom hair-do from Hair Master Tai!" Mimi probably would have rolled on the floor laughing if she didn't have this thing about dirty, high school floors and new dresses.  
"More like a hair don't from Hair Disaster Tai!" Matt was also in hysterics. Thank God the bell rang after that.  
"C'mon Meems, let's get to class." Matt said as he waved goodbye to me and the pair continued laughing all the way down the hall.  
"Well, There's always the dance!" I sighed. I was upset at myself for not doing what I had intended to do. Slamming my locker door shut, I made my way to class.  
  
**~Matt~**  
The rest of that day went by pretty slow. After the killer incident with Tai and Mimi, it's like the clock was against me. All I could think about is the stupid dance and what or how I was going to tell Tai. "I should have just got it over with!" I muttered. I had just finished grabbing my homework out of my locker when I noticed that Sora was standing beside me.  
"Got what over with?" she asked.  
"Uh, Hi Sora!" I chuckled nervously. "I was thinking that I should have um..." I choked!  
"Well?" Sora giggled. She had to know that I was hiding something by now.  
"Oh, what the heck! I'll tell you, but you have to promise not to tell anybody." I said.  
"I promise!" she replied, looking much more interested in my little secret now, then she did five seconds ago.  
"You swear on our friendship?" I asked.  
"I swear!" she promised.  
"On Biyomon's life?" I asked  
"On Biyo's life!" she replied.  
"On your tennis career?" I persisted. If I kept thinking of more things for her to swear on, maybe I could get lucky and not actually have to tell her.  
"Yes, Dammit!! Would you get on with it?" she yelled.  
"Sora, I haven't told this to anyone, but keeping it inside has been driving me crazy!" I began.  
"Yeah right." she laughed. "Cool, calm and collected Matt Ishida is going crazy?" she joked.  
"It's not funny Sora! I'm talking to ghosts in my car for God's sake!" I snapped.  
"Oh." she responded. I could tell that she was at a loss for words, but if she couldn't handle that little tremor, she'd probably keel over and die after the quake.  
"Sora, I'm gay!" I didn't mean to be so blunt, but how the hell does something like that come out any smoother?  
  
**~Sora~**  
Did I just hear what I thought I did? Did Yamato Ishida just come out of the closet? He did just tell me he was gay, right? What the heck am I doing talking to myself? Well, at least I haven't been answered by any ghosts....  
"That's a surprise!" I responded. I didn't know what else to say. I mean, I had been through this about a year ago with Tai, but it didn't get any easier, trust me.  
"What do you think?" Matt asked me.  
"What do I think?" What kind of a question is that? "Um... What am I suppose think?" I asked in return.  
"Well, am I any different in your eyes?" he questioned.  
"No way, you're still the same old Matt and you always will be. I know a few other gay guys and they're no different from anybody else. Don't think that you're the exception." I told him.  
"You know some more gay guys?"   
"Yeah."  
"Who?"  
"I think I said enough. I'm late for tennis practice anyway. I'll see you around Matt." I waved goodbye and dashed down the hallway.  
"Bye Sora." I head Matt call after me, but I just kept running. "This is such great news! I have to tell Tai!"  
  
**~Kari~**  
Tai walked in the house after soccer and headed straight for his room. I could tell that something was bothering him, but I decided to pick on him anyway. "Fine, don't say hello to your dear, younger sister." I pouted.  
"Hello, dear, younger sister" he replied in a monotone voice.  
"Have you heard anything about the dance?" I decided to ask. Bad idea! Tai exploded after that!  
"No, Kari, Matt hasn't told me anything about Tk having a date, or even if he is planning on going! If I were you, I would get up off my ass and call the guy before he's taken!"  
I was shocked! "How did you know?" he didn't respond. Instead, he kept going with his lecture.  
"The dance is tomorrow night. Talk about procrastination! You both no that you're crazy about each other. I don't understand why you just don't fuck and get it over with!" he added.  
"Tai!" I blushed. He paid no attention though, and continued making the way to his room. "By the way, Sora's called like six times!" I shouted.  
"Okay!" he called back. I still can't believe that he made that comment about Tk and I having sex, but he is right about one thing... I better get on that phone before another chick gets a hold of my man!  
  
**~Tai~**  
"I've got some news." Sora told me as soon as she heard my voice. I had called her right after I had gotten settled.  
"What kind of news? Good or bad?" I asked.  
"Good for you and bad for millions of girls around the country!" she replied.  
"So, what is it then?" I prodded.  
"I can't tell you!"   
"Why not?" I pouted.  
"Not on the phone anyway. Meet me at school early tomorrow morning. This'll knock your block off." she teased.  
"Why can't you just tell me now?" I whined.  
"Sorry Tai, I can't. I have to go."  
"But..." she hung up. How dare she tease me like that! She knows that I'm in a very fragile state right now! I guess I'll just have to wait until tomorrow. It's not that far away. In fact, it's only a day away...  
  
**~Matt~**  
I figured that I had better apologize to Tai for that hair comment that I made yesterday. He's really sensitive. Especially when it comes to his hair. I rounded the corner to his locker, then decided to hang back a bit. Tai was talking with Sora. I couldn't hear exactly what they were saying, but... "No way!" I gasped. Tai hadn't just KISSED SORA! It wasn't a little peck on the cheek either. I could handle that. This was a full-blown kiss ON THE LIPS! This is just way too much to handle! I can't face Tai now. He's in love with Sora! I can't believe that she didn't tell me even after I told her I was gay. Life as I know it is over. I might as well be dead if I can't have Tai. There's nothing left for me to live for.  
So, you see now why I have to do this? Death is the only option now. Don't try to talk me out of it. I've made my decision. Matt Ishida is going to create his own St Valentine's Day Massacre and there's nothing that anybody can do to stop me!  
  
**THE END  
~MPF**


	3. Shades of Grey: Chapter 3

# 

**Shades of Grey: Part 3**

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This chapter may be somewhat distrubing for some readers. Please read at your own risk! Remember to review!  
  
**~Tai~**  
I guess that you've already heard the news. Matt Ishida, my best friend, is gay! I have to tell you that it's the best news that I've heard in a long while and it sure as hell is going to make telling him that I've been in love with him for the past year and a half a whole lot easier then I thought it was going to be.  
Sora was right. The news did knock my block off. So much so, in fact, that I actually forgot that I was gay myself momentarily. I swept her off of her feet and kissed her, full-blown, on the lips! It took both of us by surprise, but luckily, no one else was around to see it. News travels fast at Odiba High.  
The only problem would be that now that now that I finally know the truth about Matt, I can't find him anywhere. What a day to choose to cut class! This is only the biggest day of my life, (keep in mind that I am a single male who is a long time away from getting married) and I have no one else to share my feelings with. The only one who actually knows that I'm gay is Sora and I think that I've shared enough of my excitement with her for one day.  
Matt will probably be at the dance tonight anyway. I can handle a few more hours. After all, I have been able to keep this a secret for over three hundred and sixty five days and I'm usually the talkative one!  
  
**~Matt~**  
If there is one thing that I can't handle, it's pain. I know that it must come as a huge surprise, considering the fact that I am constantly referred to as the rebel/"tough guy" of the group, but it's true. So, in terms of this whole suicide issue, I've decided to eliminate a few of my options.  
Using that Swiss Army Knife to slit my wrists would inevitably result in huge amounts of pain, not to mention huge amounts of blood which would create somewhat of a mess. I may be crazy, but I'm not heartless. I figure that my parents will have enough to deal with when they find my body that they shouldn't be bothered with blood-stained sheets. The same would go for the gun. Sure, it would be a pretty much painless method, but I have to add in the mess factor again.  
I guess my decision is made then. If two of my three options have been ruled out, then I have no choice but to opt for the "overdose" method. It'll be as easy as walking into the bathroom and grabbing a few bottles of pills to down all at once. Besides, there wouldn't be any mess to clean.  
"Here I go." I sighed  
"Are you sure you want to do this?"  
"What do you care? You have Sora!" I thought that I had seen the last of my apparition, but I was obviously wrong.  
"I think you have you're facts wrong. Maybe you should come and talk to me." the apparition suggested.  
"What can I possibly have wrong? I saw you with my own two eyes!" I snapped.  
"Exactly my point." he retorted  
"What do you mean?" I asked  
"You're eyes have been playing a lot of tricks on you lately." he told me.  
"Why would you say that?  
"This isn't the first time that you've had a conversation with me Matt. What more proof do you need?"  
"I see your point." I admitted. "But this is different. I know what I saw." I insisted. I had made my way to the bathroom and locked the door behind me. Unfortunately, Apparition Tai apparently has the ability to walk through walls. Why would I expect anything less?  
"Are you sure you really want to do this?" he asked.  
"Positive." I assured him  
"Okay, my work is done then." he told me.  
"You mean, I never have to see you again?" I asked.  
"That's right. There's no need for a subconscious mind in the afterlife." he said, simply.  
I shrugged. "Good riddance." Then he left. He just.... left. I took a few bottles of aspirin back to my room and prepared myself for the ritual.  
  
**~Kari~**  
The phone was ringing. I had actually gathered up the nerve to ask Tk to go to the dance with me. So what if the dance started in an hour. At least I was going to do it right?  
"Hello?" It was Tk!  
"Hi"  
"Kari! How's it going?" he asked.  
"Um... great!" I told him. "Listen, are you still planning on going to the dance?"  
"I'm just about ready. How about you?"  
"Yeah, I'm going." I told him.  
"Who are you going with?" Great! There was absolutely no backing down now. I had to ask him.  
"You, I hope." I crossed my fingers. I didn't mean to sound so desperate, but it wasn't as if I could take it back.  
"Really? You want me to be your date?" Tk asked. His voice had become humble.  
"Well, if you don't already have a date, I'd really appreciate it." I told him.  
"It's settled then." Tk decided.  
"Great! Tai's driving the whole gang in mom's minivan, so I'll see you in a little while." I concluded.  
"Sounds good. Bye Kari."  
"See ya soon Tk!" We hung up. "Oh my God!" I screamed. Tai came flying out of his room without any pants.  
"What the hell was that?" he asked.  
"Hurry up and get your pants on. We're going to get Tk!" I beamed.  
"Way to go Kari! It was a little late, but at least you got it done!" he praised.  
"Why thank you big brother." I took a bow.  
  
**~Tk~**  
"Matt! Hurry up! Tai and the others will be here any minute!" I called to my brother from outside of his door. There was a knock. "Correction, Tai and the others are here Matt!" I called again as I went to let our friends into the apartment. "Hi everyone, c'mon in."  
"Hey Tk!" Izzy came in first, Kari was last."  
"Hi Iz! Hey Kari..." I was blushing. I could feel it.  
"Where's Matt? We're going to be late." Tai glanced at his watch.  
"I've been trying to tell him that for the past half an hour. He hasn't answered." I told him.  
"Maybe I'll have better luck then." Tai said. He walked up to Matt's door and pounded with his first. "You're hair is probably fine Matt. Let's get going!"  
"I wonder what he's doing in there?" Mimi asked.  
"I don't know, but I'm going to find out." Tai decided. He turned the knob and headed into the room. We all followed.  
"Matt must have had a pretty big headache." Sora commented as she noticed the empty bottles of pills on his nightstand.  
"I don't think that a migraine was the problem" Joe told us, as he walked closer toward the bed. "Someone might want to dial 911."  
"Why?" Kari asked. She and I had been standing at the back of the group.  
"You don't mean..." Izzy's voice trailed off. Joe nodded.  
"Matt's attempted to commit suicide." The room fell silent as Sora ran to dial 911.  
  
**THE END**  
  
Will Matt survive?  
  
**~MPF**


	4. Shades of Grey: Chapter 4

# 

**Shades of Grey: Part 4**

~Tk~  
Okay, so you were all expecting either Matt or Tai to start this off right? Well, tough luck! You're stuck with me! Look, I'm sorry for yelling at you, but this has been one hell of a night. This whole situation has confused the hell out of me. I mean, why in the world would Matt consider suicide? Why in the world did he attempt to commit suicide?  
Actually, to tell you the truth, I'm not much interested in the answers to those questions right now. I'm more interested in finding out whether I'm still going to have a brother. We've been in this stupid waiting room for what seems like an eternity and nobody wants to give us any information about Matt's condition, if he even has a condition that is. Well, I guess that "dead" could be considered a condition, but you know what I mean.  
I'm sorry, I know I'm rambling, but I have so much on my mind. Nothing has been going right today. Well, it was going just fine until my selfish brother decided to take his own life! I mean, I finally get a date with Kari after- There I go again. I wish I could just forget about Matt for now. I don't even know if he's dead yet and he's already haunting me! Oh, that made sense! If he's not dead then he couldn't be haunting me, could he?  
Maybe I should just hand you over to someone who will actually be able to explain to you what has happened up to this point. I'm obviously not exactly sane right now. I'm just going to leave you with a stanza of a poem that this is all reminding me of. It keeps repeating itself over and over in my head, so I guess that it's of some importance:  
  
_

When all is dark, dull and unclear  
And all earth's colors disappear  
To fight this feeling, there is no way  
Lost in a world  
In shades of grey

_  
  
**~Joe~**  
As you can probably tell, Tk's not exactly emotionally stable at the moment, so he's asked me to fill you in on the depressing details of the evening. I guess you can better understand it if you're living it. I know that you're probably sick of flashbacks by now, but one more isn't going to hurt.  
"Okay Joe, the ambulance is on its way." Sora informed me as she made her way back into Matt's bedroom and joined Tai at the foot of his bed. I simply nodded and continued administering CPR.  
"Is there anything I can do to help?" Izzy asked.  
"You can relieve me for a while. I'm getting dizzy." I told him  
"Sure thing! We don't want you down for the count too." he replied as he took my place by the bed. I watched Izzy for a minute longer before I decided to go check on Tk. Mimi and Kari had taken him into the next room. He'd been in hysterics and although I could truly sympathize, he wasn't helping the situation any.  
"How is he Joe?" Kari asked as I entered the room.  
"No change." I told her. "We'll have to wait for the paramedics before we can do anything. For now, Izzy's working CPR. I turned my attention to Tk, who was leaning on Mimi's shoulder on the couch. "It might be a good idea to inform your parents about this Tk.  
"Right." Tk sobbed and started for the kitchen phone.  
"I'll go with you Tk" Kari called after him. Then, they both disappeared around the corner.  
"Will he be alright Joe?" Mimi asked suddenly. Tears were streaming down her face.  
"I don't know Mimi." I admitted. "It depends on how many of those pills he actually swallowed and how long he was lying there before we found him."  
"Okay, I called my parents. They're going to meet us at the hospital." Tk told us as he and Kari reentered the room.  
"I guess all that's left to do is wait." Kari sighed.  
  
**~Sora~**  
I guess you could say that the events kind of piece together like a puzzle. Because all of these things were going on at once, not one person has the whole story. Tai, Izzy and I didn't leave the room at all after the paramedics were called, so it's my turn to fill you in on what happened in there.  
"It's all my fault!" Tai sobbed.  
"Are you kidding?" I nearly forgot about the fact that we were suppose to be whispering. Izzy was still doing CPR and he wasn't exactly as informed as Tai and I were.  
"I could have tried harder to come looking for him. I could have come here on lunch or something." he told me.  
"Don't be so hard on yourself Tai. There was no way that you could have known what he was thinking." I reasoned, but then it hit me. I did know what he was thinking! I must have turned pretty pale because Tai put his hand on my head to check my temperature.  
"Are you alright Sora?" he asked.  
"No Tai, I'm not." I admitted.  
"What's the problem?" he persisted.  
"I knew what Matt was thinking. I mean, not totally, but-" I rambled.  
"Whoa, Sora, relax! Slow down. What do you mean?"  
"Well, before he came out of the closet, he kind of begged me to listen. He said that he had been talking to ghosts or something. I should have known that something wasn't right when-" I was interrupted. Thank God! Just then, the paramedics burst through the door and we were joined by Joe and the others. They did everything that they could before loading Matt on a gurney and bringing him to the ambulance.  
"You ride with him Tk." Tai insisted  
"No, Tai, you do it. I can't handle all of this. Besides, I want to meet my parents right away." Tk told him.  
"Thank you." Tai sobbed as he followed the paramedics outside.  
"We'll be right behind you Tai!" Mimi called.  
"I'll bring your van!" I added, before the ambulance shut it's doors and took off toward the hospital. That's as far as I can take you. The only person who knows what happened next is Tai.  
  
**~Tai~**  
I'm still kind of in shock. It was bad enough that the love of my life had attempted suicide, but what happened next in the ambulance was just way too much to handle.  
"I'll need some more information before we get to the hospital." the paramedic was saying. I just nodded. The sight of all of the weird looking equipment packed into the back of this thing was amazing!  
"Sir?" the paramedic prodded.  
"Oh sorry. I'll do my best, but maybe his brother should have done this instead." I admitted.  
"I'm sure his brother knew what he was doing when he sent you. Now, I'll need his blood type." he began.  
"A negative." I told him. Thank God Izzy took all of this info from us in the Digital World. He wanted to be prepared in case something ever happened on one of our adventures.  
"Allergies?" he continued  
"No, none." I told him. The questions continued like rapid fire until Matt started to convulse. It was the scariest thing that I had ever witnessed. He lost total control of his body and was flying everywhere and if that wasn't bad enough, the episode ended when his heartbeat did!  
"You'll have to stand clear young man." a second paramedic told me as he reached for those shock pads that you see on ER all of the time in similar cases.  
"Clear!" one shouted.  
"Clear!" again nothing  
"Clear!" thank God! His heart started again, just as we made it to the emergency room. They took Matt back to pump out his stomach and hopefully save his life.  
  
**~Mimi~**  
As far as I know that brings you back to the present and as far as I'm concerned, back into hell. Like Tk said earlier, it seems like it's been an eternity! Everyone has swollen and tired eyes and the mood is kind of, excuse the expression, dead.  
"Look! There's the doctor!" Izzy exclaimed!  
"Great." Tk moaned. "He's just coming to overlook us for the billionth time."  
"No, he's actually heading this way!" Kari cheered. We were all on our feet as he came to meet us.  
"Oh, how is he doctor?" Matt's mother asked.  
"Yes, how is he?" his dad echoed.  
"Suicide is not a pretty thing. He swallowed a hell of a lot of pills Mr. and Mrs. Ishida. He'll have to come back for counseling when he's well enough." We all gasped. Mrs. Takashi and Mr. Ishida didn't even correct him on the whole marriage thing. Matt was going to be okay!  
"I can't believe it!" I squealed.  
"That's great news!" Joe chimed in!  
"Great! Now I get to kill him myself!" Tk shouted, angrily. Tai had become weak in the knees all of a sudden and Sora followed him down to the floor and held him. The rest of us were just grateful that it all turned out okay.  
  
**~Sora~**  
Matt's parents and Tk were obviously the first to be allowed into Matt's recovery room, but soon after, his parents left and the rest of us joined Tk. We made small talk for a while, when I noticed that Tai was becoming uneasy and suggested that we leave he and Matt alone for a while. The others were hesitant, but eventually followed my lead and regrouped down in the cafeteria. I hope everything went okay.  
  
**~Tai~**  
We were silent for a moment until Matt finally spoke.  
"I'm really sorry Tai." he whispered, not looking at me.  
"You should be!" I snapped. "That was the most selfish and irresponsible thing you could have ever done."  
"Thanks mom. I heard that speech already." I said, sarcastically.  
"And I'll keep saying it until you get it though your think skull. What were you thinking?" I asked.  
  
**~Matt~**  
"I was thinking that I was going to lose you to Sora!" I yelled. I must still be high on the anesthetic. Tai's right. What the hell am I thinking? Tai looked shocked.  
"Matt, I know your secret." he whispered.  
"You mean..."  
"Yeah, Sora told me that you're gay." he admitted.  
"I can't believe that Sora told! She promised that she wouldn't." I yelled.  
"She did it for me." Tai told me.  
"What?" I was confused. What could this possibly have to do with Tai?  
"She did it because I've been hurting. She wanted to ease my pain." he continued.  
"Your pain?" Now I was really confused.  
  
**~Tai~**  
"The pain of knowing that I could never have you. Keeping the fact that I'm gay from you. I've loved you for over a year Matt, but I could never tell you, until Sora told me that you were gay as well." I continued.  
"But I saw you kissing her." he told me.  
"I kissed her because I was happy. If I had my choice I'd be kissing you!" I admitted.  
"You love me?" he asked.  
"More than anything." I blushed.  
"I can't believe this. After I-" he stopped.  
"What Matt?" I persisted.  
"I swallowed those pills because after I saw you kissing Sora I didn't want to live anymore."  
"You attempted suicide because of me?" I asked.  
"It's not your fault Tai. I should have talked to you first. I should have told you how I felt about you a long time ago." Matt sobbed.  
"How do you feel Matt?" I asked.  
"I love you Tai." It was music to my ears!  
  
**~Matt~**  
Tai came over and gently kissed my forehead, then I pulled him lower so that he could kiss my lips as well. I'm so glad that we could finally reveal our true feelings to one another. I just wish that we could have done it better and sooner then this. Life and love is so precious. I don't know why I ever tried suicide. I would have missed out on this perfect moment. Who knows? Maybe Tai and I will become an item. Of course we'd have to break the news to our family and friends, but it'll be worth all of the nerves that my body can conjure up.  
I will go through counseling and it may take me a while to patch things up with Tk. He was pretty mad at me and I don't blame him. I was stupid, but now life seems a whole lot brighter. Tai and I have a very colorful future ahead of us and I can't wait to get started! It reminds me of a poem:  
  
_

When all is dark, dull and unclear  
And all earth's colors disappear  
To fight this feeling, there is no way  
Lost in a world  
In shades of grey  
  
But when it seems the sun has set  
And abandoned you, you can't forget  
That all it takes is a little hope  
For darkness to fade  
And for the rainbow to bring in  
Colors of love  
  


_

**THE END  
~MPF**

  
  
Author's Notes: So, I know that you're screaming SEQUEL! Or, at least I hope you are, because I do plan to continue this series. I'll just let it sit for a while while I work on some others, but please review this one while you wait!  
  
**Dedication:** Yeah, normally dedications are at the start of a fic, but this is different. This fic is dedicated to my friend Ashley (soras_world) in the name of corruption! Don't worry if you don't get it. It's kinda a inside joke. My Taito/yaoi obsession began when I read her first Taito and I owe the inspiration for this fic to her. Always remember:  
  


**CORRUPTION ISN'T ALWAYS A BAD THING!!!**


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